Im ready for you when you're ready for me...

Hi blog friends,

I wanted to update some of you on my friend Jennifer that I had written about lately. Her condition has improved a lot. Now, she still has a brain tumor that is terminal. But, just as far as her alertness and all of that, she is so much better. When i saw her, she was just post-op from her surgery, so as her body was fighting brain cancer, it was also healing from brain surgery. No wonder she wasn't really with it and was sleeping a ton! Now she is able to walk around the house with out the wheel chair and is much more conversational. She was actually getting quite frustrated that she couldn't hear and started asking questions like, "Why can't I hear? Why can't i go back to work? Why am I sleeping in a hospital bed and not my own bed?" So the Jones's decided that they had to tell her what was going on. Because Jen can't hear, they typed out a letter to her explaining what was going on. The whole family sat down and worked on this letter. They gave it to her and she read it and just went to bed, like no big deal. The next day they gave it to her again and she read it again. Then they asked if she understood, and she said, "yes". This was as far in that story as my mom had heard, so when she went over to see Jen after Jen got the letter, she didn't know what to expect. When she walked in Jen said, "Mindy, I'm dying" and my mom, ever the wise, said, "Sweetie, we're all dying." I love that. So true. Although Doctors have given her a time frame for how long she may live, none of us is ever guaranteed tomorrow. So then my mom got Jen's dry erase board and wrote, " We love having you here with us, but Jesus and Ray (Jen's grandad who passed away in November, who was her bff) will love having you with them in Heaven." And Jen responded with, "I know!!! I'm not afraid!" I am just amazed by that. I don't know how you look death in the face and announce, "I'm not afraid!". My mom went on to tell me that Jen had prayed at a meal since she got her letter and her prayer was, "Lord, I'm ready for you when you're ready for me..."

This just explains Jen's faith. Having watched them walk through this had made me really look at my own mortality. As someone who struggles with anxiety and phobias, this is a hard thing for me to really do. My mind tends to panic, literally, when faced with the reality of death and dying. I have just continued to see that a.Its ok to be scared. We have a God that wipes away our tears and takes away our fears with the strength of His love. B. We know that in our journey, we are never alone. In the darkness of the night, He is with us. We know he will not ever leave us in our darkest moments.

Its good for me think about that. Honestly, it stirs my soul to worship. Just to proclaim faith in the one who gives life. Anyway, sorry that I haven't really blogged much about health and all of that, but this is just what is so strongly on my mind!

Andrew and I have been going through this puritan prayer book called "The Valley of Vision." It is filled with the most beautiful prayers... and we read one last night that just rocked my soul . I don't have it in front of me right now, but I am going to share it with you guys. If you are looking for new way to pray, pick up this book!

stomach viruses and brothers.

How could a child look this happy in the morning and then get so sick like only hours later! At least Izzy had a fun morning!

Caitlin felt great too! She had so much fun on the slide!

If only we knew what was coming!

My awesome brother and his new car! Fancy!!!

Happy monday!

I hope everyone had a great weekend. Mine was part great and part terrible. It all started friday. I had actually thought to myself last week, "I have been a nanny for over an year and still have not had to deal with vomit. That is so awesome!". Well, I thought too soon. I had my first child vomit experience on friday afternoon. It was awful. And I was able to see the one of few downsides to twins: Dual Child vomiting-on me, in my car, everywhere. Luckily the mom was able to leave work and we tag teamed it. But omg, it was terrible. Right after this sick extravaganza started, I recieved a call from my brother that he was on his way to austin to buy a new car. So I was excited for that, but also, had done zero prep for a guest in our house. Prep involves things like:

-Blow up the air mattress

-put ninja turtle sheets on air mattress

-buy groceries (we literally had to feed him cheese its and grapes for lunch on saturday)

-clean bathroom

-turn on ac

None of those things got done. When I came home, I was overwhelmed from my day with the girls and feeling a little nausea myself. But Chris arrived at 8 and immediately required us to turn on the ac. which i was perfectly glad to help out with that. And we were off to a wonderful favorite resturaunt, Eddie V's. I actually was pretty impressed with how I ate there. I decided not to order an entree and got a delish salad as my main meal and then got a side plate for bites of the boys steaks and sides. It was great!

Well, at 6 am saturday morning, I woke up with HORRIBLE stomach cramps. And I got super sick all day saturday. It was so sad because I was excited to go to lunch with Chris, but didn't get to do that. I literally could not eat saturday. I ate nothing. That NEVER happens. We went to bed super early and I woke up sunday feeling so much better. I still was not hungry at all, but could keep food down.

So the good news is:

-I lost weight this weekend

-I got to see my brother

- I slept a lot

The bad news is:

- i got a stomach virus

-my time with my bro got cut short

-we literally did nothing fun after dinner on friday because I was sicky

All that to say: I dont know how moms deal with vom. I am amazed by you. And, I hope that this smaller appetite me gives me a boost for the week. I'm hoping that my appetite stays that way! I have other fun stuff to share this week! Get excited!

delicious treats and eats

Ok, so I tried something new last night. I have to admit, I was pretty terrified to try it, but it was amazing. I had Morning Star Corn Dogs. Morning Star is a vegetarian brand. So yes, I ate veggie corn dogs. But lets be honest...do we really know what is in a regular corn dog? I would rather have a corn dog that I know is made from veggies than one that is made of pig snouts and horse hooves-not that I have a problem with regular corn dogs. If ever I am in Lubbock for the fair, i bee line for a corn dog. But I have to tell you, the veggie dogs are just as good as regular corn dogs. I baked them in the oven so they were nice and crispy on the outside and then I ate them with mustard and ketchup (yes, i mix them together. Don't judge me.) Each of these dogs is 4 ww points - 2.5 grams of fat, 150 calories...just stinking good. I also had sweet potato fries with them and I felt like I was totally cheating, but I wasnt! So awesome! try it! Dont be afraid!

I also made an amazing dessert this week. It is a weight watchers recipe for chocolate chip blondies. Here is the recipe:

-Pre heat the oven at 350 degrees

-spray a baking dish with non stick cooking spray

-In a medium bowl, Mix 2 cups of flour, 2tsp of baking powder, and 1/2 tsp of salt

-In a large bowl, beat 1.5 cups of brown sugar and 6 tbl spoons of light butter

-add in 2 large egg whites and 1 tsp of vanilla

-gradually add in flour mixture-alternating it with water to keep it moist

-stir in 3/4 cup of mini chocolate chips

-put in sprayed baking dish and bake in oven (at 350) for 30 minutes. Cut into 24 pieces.

These things are like chocolate chip cookies, but moister...and if you put it with 1/2 cup of dryers slow churned vanilla ice cream...you have a delish dessert for 6 points. Just the bar is 4 points. Totally worth it.

Im so excited it's friday. Looking forward to spending time outside enjoying this weather! Is it too early to want to go to Barton Springs? Because I might go!!!

struggle

Hi team,

Well, this blog is kind of a "state of the union", if you will. I honestly have really been struggling with...everything. I kind of feel overwhelmed and like I can't get anything under control. I know I have to keep all of this in perspective. Understanding that I may be struggling, but others are struggling SO much more...with cancer, with earthquakes, with divorce etc. So I get that...I do. But here is my struggle. Since I got the flu I feel like I haven't been able to get my eating and exercise under control. I literally am JUST getting back into regular exercise. I also am struggling to get my eating back under control. I think so much of the problem lies with me being tired. My work hours have just extended and so my days are 8:15-5:45ish and I come home so tired. The girls are getting more and more independent as well as strong willed. I know as I write this, my mom is laughing saying this is just karma...But its hard when its someone else's children. They are daily becoming more and more defiant and I am struggling to know how to discipline them. I think so much of it is my day is longer and I am just worn out. I also tend to just eat whatever when I'm tired. So if the girls have pigs in a blanket, I eat them too...10 of them. I just am feeling tired and like I can't get on a schedule and I'm overwhelmed. I cried a little last night with Andrew. With his ever calm and logical wisdom we decided to get up at 6:15 and just do a Jillian DVD at home, that gets me some exercise, but doesn't require me to get up in the 5's like going to the gym does. I just am trying to adjust and do all of this in a way that will get me on the right track...and I am struggling. Ha. So there is my pity party. Thanks for listening. Its a journey and I am learning how to walk it...I am sure some of you can identify. I'm writing this as I watch the little monkeys run around, so if I sound like I wrote it with half a brain, its because I did. Off to the park to feed the ducks and turtles!

scarlett Jo?

A pic from my wedding. Quite a few people commented that I looked like Scar Jo here....

The beauty her self....flawless...

Hi blog friends!

I have just had a great day so far today. I got up at 5:30 and headed to the gym. Today was the first time in a WHILE I got up early and went. I had a really good run! But usually when I get up in the 5's, I need a nap in the afternoon....Which I just did. Having a job with a built in nap is not too shabby! Ha ha!

So I wanted to share something hilarious with you guys. Since i got married (in 2007- I was my thinnest ever then...and looked pretty amazing if i do say so myself!) People have been telling me I look like Scarlett Johansson. Now, this is rediculous to me because, while I am pleanty cute, I am no Scarlett Jo. She is BEAUTIFUL! I promise I am not telling you this because I am searching for compliments, I have endless confidence...haha. But, I just dont get it. I did see how a few of my wedding pics, I could MAYBE resemble her, but since then, people still tell me I look like her. I have been told like 10 times I look like her. Someone even took my picture at a concert in the fall. Well, all of this comes up, because yesterday, I took my girls to the childrens museum. I looked pretty rough. I was in work out pants, a t-shirt, tennis shoes, and was wearing a hat. And after I got the girls out of their stroller I was walking by a mom and kind of bumped into her and she gasped and then grabbed her chest like she had seen ghost and said, "Oh my gosh. I thought you were her! Has anyone ever told you that you look just like Scarlett Johansson?" And I died laughing. I feel like if ever I am having a rough day and maybe not feeling as cute as I am, God lets me get this little compliment. Anyway, I dont get it, never will...but will NEVER get tired of hearing it. Maybe one day she and I will have matching bodies!!

Thanks for all of you prayers for Jen! Keep them coming!!

I also have a great recipe I'll be sharing this week for chocolate chip blondies- weight watchers style!! yummmmmy!

an amazing day...

I can't even really put into words the day I've had. I'll put it this way...I have not had much of an appetite all day. which is rare. The only other time I remember feeling this way (when i wasn't sick) was at my wedding reception. When Andrew and I arrived at our wedding reception, we were instantly taken to a room with all the food you could eat and all the wine you could drink...and i didn't touch a thing! I was just full of emotion! I was so excited not even chips and queso could distract me! Well, I feel the same thing today...not so much with excitement. But with emotion. Today was an extraordinary day. I woke up and my mom and I hopped in the car and headed to Starbucks (first things first!). Jennifer LOVES lattes. So we went and got coffee for us as well as for Jen and her mom, Chris. Then we headed to their house. I was a little nervous. I just didn't know what to expect...I had an experience a few years ago when a friend of mine had a friend who had passed away from terminal cancer. After that friend had passed away, they asked my friend to go over and clear out her room she had lived in with hospice for the past few months. Well, my friend had been the day before and didn't want to go back alone, so I went with with her. When we walked into this house, it just was...dark. I don't know how else to explain it. But death was palpable. Since then, I have been really wary of walking into a situation like that. So I was nervous today. We walked into the Jones house, bearing Starbucks, and I promise you, that house was filled with life and the Holy Spirit and peace. Such the opposite from my other experience.When we walked in, Jen was just waking up. So Chris sent us to the kitchen to get her breakfast ready. My mom and I heated up her cream of wheat and had her latte waiting for her. When she saw us she said, " Hi mindy! Hi whit!" so it was sweet that she knew us both. We fed her breakfast and Jen was sure to ask about my niece Laney. Jen also is getting used to her new home health nurse, Elaina. I actually ended up kind of being besties with Elaina. My mom was trying to help Chris with all the odds and ends and I saw that as my opportunity to spend some quality time with Jen. Now, Jen's hearing is still not working because of the the tumor, so outside of charades, the only way to communicate with her is with a dry erase board. So I told her I loved her and her scar was cool and all of that! But we decided Jen would probably benefit from fresh air plus she kept saying she wanted to go for a walk. So we bundled her up and got her in her wheel chair and headed out. While we were walking, I ended up really connecting with her home health nurse and really ended up sharing the gospel the with her. The truth is, if you are going to be around the Jones family much, you are going to hear it anyway, so hearing it from me, her new bff-at least eased her into it, right?! Anyway, it was such a sweet time. After we walked for a while, Jen looked really tired, so we decided to go in and let her rest. So my mom spent some time helping her mom get a few odds and ends tied up (like fill out the paper work for Jen to donate her body to science...imagine filling that out for you child...) and we went and picked up lunch and then came back and spent more time with Jen. I have to tell you, I don't think that, out side of my own mom, I have even seen unconditional love like I see in Chris Jones. I see Christ all over her. She is just walking through this nightmare with such grace. She is not in denial, she knows what is happening-and still with such grace walks in it. As I was reflecting on my day, I kept coming back to psalm 23...." even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. For thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me." I have never walked with someone through the valley of the shadow of death...but here i was today. And you know what we did? We did puzzles. We laughed. We hugged. We celebrated and we grieved. But we DID NOT FEAR. We know as we walk through it, HIS rod and HIS staff will comfort us. I don't think I will ever forget today. What a gift it was...

im...in Lubbock?

Yes its true. I am in the hub city. I have never made a decision to leave town so quickly in my life! It was pretty comedic to watch me scurry around throwing God knows what into my bag. (if you see me in Lubbock and I am wearing a weird outfit, its because i packed in 4 minutes :). Here is how I came to be in Lubbock-I have written all week about my friend Jennifer. Last night when I blogged I wanted to wait until her caring bridge was updated to tell you guys that her family decided to not do treatment. It would be torture for her and really, only prolong life like 2 months. So they went home from the hospital today and she is on hospice care. After hearing that and talking to Andrew and my parents a ton, I just really felt compelled to want to come see her and tell her how much she has blessed my life and that I love her. But, I didn't want to be a burden or an added person that wants so badly to see her. So this morning I called my mom on my way home from the gym and my mom told me she had also thought I should maybe come see Jen. So I thought I would at least ask my bosses when I got to work. When I got there and told them ,they so lovingly told me to go ahead and go- they didn't even ask me to work today. So I ran home, packed, hopped in my car and...here i am. It is so bitter-sweet. Bitter because of why I am here. Its tragic and just gut wrenching to walk into this situation. But sweet because I get a chance to: a. See Jennifer and tell her I love her . b. See my family who I haven't seen since Thanksgiving. One reason I want to see Jen so badly is because in 2000 My mom's mom, Mimi Kay, was dying in the hospital. She was probably in ICU for a month. And I was really afraid to see her so ill. So i never went up there. And she died. She died having not seen me in month. It is one of my biggest regrets to this day. So I have just made a point to make sure to tell people what they mean to me, given the opportunity. So I am overjoyed with this opportunity. I'll be sure to blog tomorrow to let you know how everything was. Pray, please, for peace in their home. The first night home from a hospital stay is always uneasy. Pray for peace, rest, and comfort for their whole family.

On a brighter note, I got to see my brother and sister in law and my niece, laney tonight. Y'all, Laney is ridiculously precious. Pics to come!

Love you all. Pray pray pray, please.