Thursday, January 13, 2011

I feel normal.

I love thursdays. Its friday eve and that makes it so fun. So happy friday eve, everyone!
My Dad's birthday was tuesday the 11th. I always remember his birthday because it is my half birthday. I used to love it that I had only 6 months until my birthday. Now I don't so much love it because Im just that much closer to 30! ahhh! I cant be close to 30. I'm only 22....wait. I'm 27. and a half! ick. Anyway. Something happened on my birthday this year and I didn't really realize it until this week. Every year on my birthday I am at a church camp in South Padre Island. It is one of my favorite weeks of the year. I am surrounded by my best friends and hundreds of high school kids there to worship and experience the living God. Above is a pic from camp last year. This is all the girl leaders from WHPC. We are a class act! Anyway, this year on my birthday I was telling my friend Emily Rice that I had gone the longest, to that point, I had in years with out a panic attack. And that for the first time in a long time, " I felt normal". Many of you may know that I have battled a debilitating anxiety condition for the past 4 years. It was the most difficult things I have ever walked through. I had weekly panic attacks and would go weeks with only hours of sleep. It effected my health and took a toll on my physically.It was the main reason for my weight gain. I felt like a crazy person and spent so much time and money on Dr.'s and Therapist's. It really was awful.
I got into counseling August of 2009 and it was amazing. Through weeks and weeks of therapy we realized that my main trigger of anxiety and panic was my job at Westlake Hills Pres. I dont really know why- I loved that job. But either way, I was in a very unhealthy place mentally with my job. Through prayer and seeking lots of advice- I stepped down from that job last January. It was so hard, but what I had to do. It took until July to realize it had been 6 weeks since I had experienced any anxiety. And I hadn't really realized until this week that it has been 6 months since declaring to Emily that, " I felt normal". But since it has been I am overjoyed to say, I do feel normal. I am free from anxiety. God has healed my mind. I believe through learning healthy thought patterns and how to protect myself from panic, I have been free. Its like losing weight. You have to keep up your new healthy patterns. If I dont, I will easily slip back into bad mental habits. Just like I have slipped back into bad eating habits. Anyway, just wanted to share that I really thought I would never feel normal again, and by Gods grace and hard work, I do. And it has been 6 months. I praise Him for the journey!
As usual, back to food!
Today in my detox I can re-introduce dairy! Thank God! I had missed milk!
So here is my menu!
Breakfast: Banana and de-caf non fat misto from starbucks. So good!
Snack: Apple and almonds
Lunch: Grilled chicken breast, sweet potato and green beans
Snack: Hummus and veggies
Dinner: 1/2 cup brown rice
1 cup black beans 1/2 avocado
1/2 cup salsa
Dessert:1 peice of whole wheat bread toasted with 1 tbl spoon of almond butter and 1/2 cup of skim milk! yum!
Live in grace and enjoy the journey!

1 comment:

  1. Whit, I appreciate you sharing your journey of overcoming anxiety with us. It's hard to imagine how many people are affected by anxiety disorder and what a frightening experience it can be to have a panic attack. I am inspired by your courage and grace as you look back on these experiences and utilize them to move forward. Your blog posts have allowed me to reflect on my life and they serve as motivation for me to change the areas where I have insecurities and unhappiness. Thank you! Love you dear friend!